today the ballet studio had a beautiful dinner. i imagine they had to see themselves eat prepared food through the mirrors. i see two workers now, at two in the morning, cleaning up the tables, and something about that is very charming, intimate. she told me to watch her stuff while she hung out with our friends. he said goodnight and held eye contact and said ill miss you that made me weary and amused, and this sentence magnifies the twenty second encounter. he has a good face. and good is different from attractive, cute, or sexy. also, im intrigued by the ten, fifteen minutes conversation, and why i subconsciously have to physically move away from a person after those seconds.. im infatuated with an ideal, expensive shoes i imagine myself wearing to fabulous places, but i know ill never buy them because i cant afford them; the contrast of a person and shoes already says that it is merely lust, or is this a cynical denial because my biggest fear is reflected reminded recycled through a single human being?